Weigh in

Start 216-143
Lost 3
Total 73
 
2 lbs below maintenance

Success

I was in a bit of a panic over it. Even though  I hadn't bought Halloween candy I felt I could overeat. When it was suggested I go for a walk I  went  for one and it helped me calm down. By that time my husband was home and asked me if I had ate. I told him no because I was afraid that once I started I wouldn't stop. He suggested we don't go to a buffet but to a restaurant where I could get small portions which we did. It felt good to feel back in control and to choose a healthy meal. Right after the meal we went to the movies and because I was full no popcorn etc.  an enjoyable Evening

Halloween, Not Me

After 7 days of eating no sugar I started eating junk and haven't stopped. Yesterday I only had chocolate  bars, donuts and pepsi for every meal. How crazy is that. Tonight is Halloween and I didn't buy any Halloween candy. Tonight of all nights I need to stop my eating frenzy, it is so important that I do it tonight. My adult children come here and we all hand out candy to the neighbourhood kids  and we all pig out with the bought exra candy. If we dont get as many kids guess what we eat the leftovers. This has to stop and I'm the one who has to stop it. My adult daughters think I should still do it, no I'm not going to. My husband said we have to give the little kids candy, no I don't have to. My husband asked one of my daughters to come and give out candy and she told him to do it himself. He won't do it because he is to lazy. At least my daughters are supporting my decision. My husband doesn't like change but I'm determined. Not sure what I'm going to do instead, not answering the door doesn't seem right. I will get out of the house. 

Peaceful

I'm feeling  so peaceful after making the decision not to lose anymore weight. I wanted to lose more weight in hopes that my clothes would fit better. Realistically that isn't going to happen. I will always have a droopy stomach, losing a bit more weight won't help that in fact it will only droop more. It is time to accept that and move on. Actually I'm fine with my weight as it is. I'm at a reasonable weight for my height.

I will still tackle my binge eating problem. It's not as bad as it use to be but it needs work. I still eat to many sweets, being diabetic I need to get this under control. I have tried to go without but keep failing but I will not give up on this. I live to conquer.

Feel So Positive

Weigh In
Start weight 216
Lost 1 lb back to goal weight of 145
New goal 135


Feeling more positive and climbed out of the pity pot. On top of everything my back was causing me pain. I have had 2 massages and feel almost normal. I also joined Half Size Me, so I will give it a try. Got in my exercise 25 minute walk. My husband and I had ice cream tonight and I deemed it as my last one for a while. 

Turn Around

 After  I posted below I was in a tizzy about what to do next. Was I going to the corner store and pig out? I had a small cry I felt so stressed and upset with myself. Finally I decided that I would go for a walk and if I still wanted junk I would get some. Wow what a change in attitude. It was hot out so I walked the mall, each lap is 1 k. After I decided to try on dresses, I will need one for my daughters wedding next year.. I found a couple that looked good on me. Not perfect but they hid my stomach a bit. By then I was feeling so good I didn't binge. I came home and had a healthy supper. Happy dance

Wasting my Time

i don't think anything can stop me when I decide to binge. I was doing fairly well until I got upset over a few things then I binged. I feel hopeless and useless. I can't do bogging right so no help in that area. There is a half size me community which charges 15.00 a month and there is pk thing called Binge Eat No More 47.00 but should I waste my money only to fail again. Only I can do this, my mind would probably over ride any advise. I feel so terrible I let food control me. All I can think about is junk food and going to the corner store. 

Weigh in

Sept 6 -- 146 down 5lbs.

Aug 31--  151 up 6 lbs.

New goal 135 lbs. and getting sugar out of my life

Goal 145 Stayed within 5-10 lbs for 5 years
216 -145 A 71 lb loss

Sept 6  Being sick plus not having any pepsi and chocolate made for a good weight loss. Look at a bottle of pepsi mine has 69 gm of sugar and chocolate bars 23-36 gm of sugar. This diabetic has a serious problem when I go back to having this junk, no nutritional value at all. I have not had any junk food this week. Another migraine on Monday,I know from the past I would have serious withdrawals from not having pepsi. I'm determined to conquer this problem.. Stayed in bed all day drinking only water. I had strong cravings in the evening as my migraine eased up. In the past I would have pop and chocolate to get rid of the lingering headache. It would  work and it was comforting but I didn't have it.

Sept. 7   Ate healthy, drank water and went for a 36 min. walk. Extreme pain tonight so went to bed at 7 pm and slept for 1 hour. Feel almost better. 

Slow But Steady

Slow because I'm still not feeling in tip top shape but feeling a bit better each day.  Some of this might seem pitiful to you but once I recover look out lol.

What I'm pleased with is I haven't had any pepsi only drinking water and some skim milk. I'm not a coffee drinker but have drank tons of pepsi through the years. No chocolate, even with being sick there have been times I have sent my husband to get me some, which  is the last thing I need esp. when sick.  I know I have  to get rid of  the sugar permanently.  I'm exercising more consistently.

 Sept 3. Felt queasy but no migraine and no vomiting. Ate healthy but not much food. Went for a10 minute walk but my back was sore so came home and rode my exercise bike for 20 minutes which didn't hurt my back. Towards the evening started to feel sick again so went to bed early.

Sept 4. Still not much food, still queasy so took gravel with my meals. Felt better in the evening so went for a 42 min. walk. Getting in 6-8 glasses of water.

Sept 5. Good food day still not eating much but only had to take gravel once today. Walked 17 min. Back hurt so rode my exercise bike for 20 min. My daughter was over today and we did some crafting which is always fun. Went to store this evening and bought more veggies, fruit, and salmon. Good dinner for tomorrow.

Hopefully Getting Better

   Three days of being sick and I'm just starting to feel a bit better tonight.

I have been wearing capris all summer that were on the loose side. On Sunday evening it was cool outside so I put pants on, they were tight in the waist and stomach. Monday morning I got on the scale and I have gained 6 lbs.

Five years ago I lost 71 lbs and I have managed to keep it mostly within a 5 lb. range. first I want to lose this 6 lbs. then I decided I want to set a lower goal to lose another 10 lbs.

My problem  is I will eat healthy for a while then slowly slip backwards to eating hell. With being sick I haven't made it to the grocery store but have hardly eaten anything and what I have eaten hasn't stayed down. I did try a few Breton crackers and cheese and so far okay. My migraine is gone, which I'm sure most of that was from not drinking pepsi. Feeling positive tonight.


   

Advoidance

Avoidance is what I have been doing and it shows up in my poor health. What I'm doing is trying to change things around and part of that is stop avoiding and start being honest. I haven't been keeping track of my diabetic numbers. I just tested 2 hours after eating and I'm at 25 and I'm not suppose to be higher than 10.
   Honesty with my food, is I'm eating more chocolate and Pepsi than anything else.
   Honesty with my exercise is, I haven't been doing any.

   The good thing about life is that each day is filled with choices and I made the choice today to do better. Today was a improvement and tomorrow will be better. A little pepsi  today but mostly water. Ate more in control but not great. I have planned out the next few days of food and will get to the store in the morning for my groceries.. Thrown out all junk tonight. Nothing to eat tonight as I have to fast because I have blood tests at the hospital.
     It was cool outside tonight so I could walk outside for 35 min. I love walking so why did I ever stop. 

Will I Ever Learn

   I reached my goal weight 5 years ago but I have never learned to control the sugar monster inside of me. When I let it emerge I can get totally out of control and I feel helpless to tame it. Being diabetic and having diverticulitis causes me stomach pains. You would think I would stop doing this to myself  over and over. Don't I want to feel good? It seems like I don't.

   This blog will be my effort to Get It Right